Pickled Cucumber Sauce (December 2008)

Dear Gork, 

I have to say I'm pretty disappointed with your efforts on posting new poll questions. I really enjoy them. I felt the 10-1,000 pickles per month was a huge upset. I was sure it would be 1,000-100,000. So that got me thinking. Perhaps I eat too many pickles? Is this possible? I sure hope not. I mean sure my pee smells like dill but that's better than actual urine smell isn't it? I guess my main point was I hope you come up with a new poll question soon. Thanks for your time, 

Vlasic Spears, La Porte City, IA

V,

First off, you have a great point about my poor poll performance. I will do better. In fact, I plan to use future poll results for a paper I'm writing about the West Coast-to-East Coast flow phenomenon regarding social tendencies and fashion gaffs. As for your pickle with pickles, your name tells me you might have a conflict of interests. By naming you after America's number 1 pickle producer, me thinks your parents sealed your fate...that of an unabashed pickle addict. All over-endulgances have their price. Your price-to-pay is enduring the overpowering, putrid, pungent stench of pickle pee every time you urinate. The fact that you enjoy the odor is even more problematic. Cut back on your pickle intake and take some Vitamin P...you'll be whiffing the odiferous scent of good old fashioned peepers in no time.

-Gork