Thrice as Nice (January 2009)

Gork, 

I have 3 rear openings. Only the big one functions, and I'm not sure where the other ones lead to. Everybody I show them to tells me I'm a mutant. What's going on here?

-Larry P.

Old Craxton, SD

Larry, 

You're only supposed to have one, so in a way, you are a mutant. That term has some negative connotations, but if we're being honest...that's what you are. It's entirely possible that one of your parents also had a "triple crown" and passed it on to you. This is how evolution works.

I might suggest you refrain from showing them off so much. That will likely cut down on the criticism. On the other hand, you could always just embrace it and take your show on the road. I personally don't care what you do.

-Gork