Gork,
Wilper Hubbins again. Jenny and I threw a second party just like you advised. We really went for it with the hotdog theme by turning our backyard into a sort of hotdog paradise--hotdog carts, sweet hotdog SWAG, HD-flavored drinks, etc. and it was all free for attendees. All told, we spent about $5K to make it happen. Somewhat predictably, however, the leftover dogs from the silent soiree had gone sour. Just about everybody that attended got violently ill with something later identified as hotdog-induced rotavirus. The Spratts are threatening to sue for damages and I'm worried they might get some of the others to go along. I think about 80 people got sick enough to require emergency care. Imagine how foolish I felt standing in a hotdog cart dressed up as Benito Mussolini explaining what had happened to the EMTs.
We know our party-throwing days are over, but is there any chance we can bounce back socially? Also, can I get your phone number? If we do get taken to court, I'm probably going to blame you. Sorry bud.
-Wilper Hubbins, Hambilton, KY
Mr. Hubbins,
I'm sorry it rained on your hotdog parade, but don't go blaming me. First of all, I didn't tell you to serve rotten hotdogs. Secondly, I'm not responsible for the outcomes of any of my advices...it says so in my bio: "Gork is not responsible for anything pertaining to anything." So, with that in mind, you better be thinking of a new strategy. Your first move should be to get a law team on retainer. I assume Hambilton is too small to have any firms that specialize in hotdog crimes so just pick anybody willing to take the case. They'll know what to do.
Now, regarding your social lives, you've dug a nice hole for yourselves, but I've had clients bounce back from worse. Just take this one step at a time. You could start by sending out a nice apology letter or even better, go door-to-door with apology gift baskets. I can't believe I have to say this, but if you do that, make 100% sure there are no rotten hotdogs in the gift baskets. Good Luck and please don't contact me again.
-gvd