Gork,
Here's one for you. My wife Jenny and I are trying to spice up our social standing by becoming party throwers. Unfortunately, we kind of got off on the wrong foot with our initial party. We wanted to have a roaring 20's theme with sort of a silent movie motif, which seems fine and fun, right? We made up these invitation fliers and got a lot of positive feedback leading up to it--several of our couple friends were excited for it and even invited some of their friends. By the time party day came, we were expecting around 75 people. We hired a caterer and brought in a professional bartender to serve martinis and juleps...it was going to be great.
The problem is that I may have taken the concept of a silent soiree a bit too far. I was going around aggressively enforcing the "no sound" rule. I had made a paddle that said "SSHHHH!" on it, and when I caught people talking or making any sounds, I would smack them with it. Allegedly, I was hitting too hard or in sensitive body areas, but I feel like it was just some of that fake outrage I've been hearing about. Anyways, I asked multiple people to leave the party when they couldn't follow the rules, but most simply just left on their own when they realized they couldn't talk or that they might get injured. It didn't help that I also enforced a $50/person unadvertised cover charge. In the end, we had like 2,500 cooked gourmet hot dogs leftover! Jenny thinks our party throwing days are over, but I think we deserve a second chance. Can you help us redeem ourselves with a great party idea?
-Wilper Hubbins - Hambilton, KY
Oh Wilper, Wilper, Wilper. You bungled this up pretty badly. I recommend you hang up your hosting hats and stick to life as simple party attenders, but if you really must get in good party hosting standing, there are two paths: a) host a series of boring, normal parties that, over time, earn you guys a reputation as stable and fun party hosts, or b) throw one amazingly weird and lavish party that gets the job done in one swoop. The answer is b. I call it the "Jenny and Wilper Hubbins Second-Chance Jamboree." Make it free, make it big, and don't tell anybody what to do. Really ham it up with the second chance theme, but avoid any other secondary themes that might remind people of your first bungle job (if you play your hot dog cards right, this could be a great way to offload those leftover wieners). Finally, and this is the most important part, dress up as someone unexpected like OJ Simpson or Benito Mussolini. Let me know how it goes.
-gvd